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A British asylum seeker’s guide to Europe

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Europe has a new migration crisis on its hands.

Thanks to the U.K.’s decision to leave the EU, there’s now a rush among some Britons to seek asylum elsewhere in Europe before Brexit takes effect. Those scrambling for solutions include British people working for the EU institutions, and others who simply have been living abroad and want to maintain benefits in their countries of residence. Several countries, including Belgium, Luxembourg and Ireland, have reported a spike in citizenship applications from U.K. nationals.

But some countries are more welcoming than others for Brits who are searching for ways to avoid becoming “foreigners” on the Continent.

Here’s a look at citizenship requirements in several countries, along with some helpful tips and phrases for showing you can assimilate:

Easiest targets

flag-of-LuxembourgLuxembourg: The Grand Duchy’s government has said it will take a positive, even proactive, approach to offering citizenship and so far it is backing that up. Justice Minister Félix Braz hosted a seminar on July 11 to help guide EU institution staff based in Luxembourg through the citizenship application process. But that doesn’t mean it’ll be easy. You’ll still have to do some homework, including learning the Luxembourgish language, in order to pass a citizenship test. Luxembourg currently has a seven-year residency requirement for citizenship, but its parliament is considering cutting that to five years. Another option is to show proof you have Luxembourgish ancestry from any time after 1900But move quickly on that clause, which will be abolished in 2018.
Fun fact: Luxembourg allows citizenship applicants to change their names at the same time they change nationality. Here’s your chance to go off grid.
Useful phrase: The Luxembourgish word for grandmother is ‘Groussmamm.’

flag-of-IrelandIreland: Applicants can get nationality by showing that at least one grandparent was born on the island of Ireland. But you’ll still have to pay €1,125 in fees to close the deal. If you’re trying to make a citizenship claim based on owning a second home in Ireland, it might be tricky unless you head there now for longer than a weekend stay: You need to have had “continuous” residence for at least one year in Ireland, plus show residency during “1,460 days in the eight years prior to that period (plus one day for any period encompassing February 29),” according to the Irish government’s website. Another thing you’ll need to prove: You must be “of good character.”
Fun fact: Time spent living in Northern Ireland does not count toward the residency requirement.
Useful phrase: “Didn’t Barack O’bama have Irish ancestry?” 

flag-of-CyprusCyprus: Scoring citizenship here is easy, as long as you’re willing to pay. A lot. Cyprus offers a fast-track application process for people who invest €5 million in Cypriot government bonds or other investments, including real estate projects and business ventures. There’s also a €7,000 application fee. If you don’t have the venture capital, the process is tough. Obtaining citizenship requires seven years of permanent residency. Even if you’re the parent or child of a Cypriot, five years of residency is required, including 12 consecutive months before the application is made. There are ancestry loopholes but they require navigating Cyprus’ complicated history, which includes independence from the U.K. in 1960 and a Turkish invasion in 1974 that divided the island. When and where your parents or grandparents were born can affect your ability to apply. It may be better just to invest.
Fun fact: Cyprus is the only EU country that includes territory currently occupied by Turkey. Don’t bring that up in your application.
Useful phrase: “Is there free parking for my yacht?”

flag-of-MaltaMalta: The tiny island nation is also willing to sell you citizenship, under its Individual Investor Program. All you need is to buy real estate worth €350,000 and own it for five years and you can, in the words of the brochure, “be part of Malta’s success story.” The other option is to pay €16,000 per year in rent over five years and make €150,000 worth of investments in Maltese stocks and bonds. In Malta’s version of Obamacare, you also have to buy health insurance. There’s also a “a stringent vetting and diligence process, including thorough background checks.”
Fun fact: English is one of Malta’s official languages.
Useful phrase: “I think Brexit offers Malta a real chance to be a player in European politics. I want to be where the action is.”

It’s worth a shot

flag-of-BelgiumBelgium: Belgium requires citizenship applicants to have lived in the country for five years and to have a working knowledge of one of the country’s official languages: Dutch, French or German. In theory that should be an easy hurdle to clear for Eurocrats, many of whom have been based in Brussels for far longer and speak several languages. But the Belgian government has thrown that into question, saying that many EU officials and diplomats have never been permanently resident in Belgium and therefore won’t meet the requirement if they maintained their legal residence abroad. Calls in the European Parliament on July 5 for special attention to the plight of U.K. officials appear not to have been heard by the Belgians. Anyone who’s ever stood in line at a Brussels maison communale will know that finding a solution could take a while.
Fun fact: Many rich French people, including Gérard Depardieu, have been able to get Belgian citizenship.
Useful phrase: “I don’t think this is a failed state at all.”

flag-of-EstoniaEstonia: This small Baltic country prides itself on being at the forefront of the digital revolution and offers a lot of government services online, including the ability to apply for citizenship, but there are still some strict requirements to meet. Unless one of your parents was Estonian at the time of your birth, you’ll need to prove residence in the country for at least eight years, five of which have to be permanent residency. There’s also an Estonian language and government exam to pass. But on the plus side you can get an answer to the request in just six months. Dual citizenship isn’t allowed, so you’d have to renounce your loyalty to the Queen.
Fun fact: Estonia’s president grew up in New Jersey, so he knows what it’s like to be an immigrant.
Useful phrase: “I hear this place is now called E-stonia because it’s so plugged in.”

flag-of-PortugalPortugal: Portuguese citizenship requires six years of residency in the country, or one of your parents had to be Portuguese when you were born, and their parents also need to have been Portuguese. There’s one special loophole: If can prove that you are of Sephardic descent and your family lived in Portugal in the 15th century before being expelled by the Catholics, you are also entitled to Portuguese citizenship. Spain has a similar provision.
Fun fact: Portugal’s empire once spanned the globe.
Useful phrase: “Ronaldo got a bad rap during Euro 2016.”

flag-of-SpainSpain: That second home on the Costa Brava may pay off if you’re looking to acquire Spanish citizenship by residency, but spending long May weekends and summer vacations there won’t be enough. You’ll need to prove residency for 10 years that’s “legal, continuous and immediately prior to the application form,” according to the Spanish government’s website. As with Portugal, there’s a special provision for people of Sephardic ancestry, but also for grandchildren of those who were expelled during the Civil War. So start studying the family tree.
Fun fact: Technically, Spain has a border with the U.K., on the southern tip of the peninsula at Gibraltar.
Useful phrase: “I didn’t expect a Spanish Inquisition.”

Don’t even bother

flag-of-ItalyItaly: Even apart from the challenge of dealing with Italian bureaucracy, getting citizenship there is tricky. You’ll have to prove that one of your grandparents was Italian. There’s a residency requirement, too, but for EU citizens it’s only four years. There are fast-track loopholes for people who can prove they are descendants of “persons born and formerly resident in the territories of the former Austro-Hungarian Empire.” Descendants of Italian nationals who lived in Istria, Fiume and Dalmatia from 1940 to 1947, whose property was confiscated by Yugoslavia, are also eligible for Italian citizenship.
Fun fact: If you’ve ever thought of ordering a cappuccino in the afternoon or putting parmesan cheese on seafood pasta, you might as well give up now.
Useful phrase: “I’ve always said the Commission should give Rome more room on its budget deficit.”

flag-of-FranceFrance: Another country with strict citizenship requirements. You’ll need at least one parent who’s a French citizen, and whose father or mother was also French. So get ready to dig up their birth certificates. France generally requires five years of residency before considering citizenship applications, as well as “sufficient knowledge” of the French language that needs to be certified by French authorities. Loophole: If you went to university in France, you can get citizenship after just two years in the country.
Fun fact: French grammar is really hard!
Useful phrase: “Everyone knows the real seat of the European Parliament is in Strasbourg.”

flag-of-PolandPoland: If your parent was a Polish citizen when you were born, you have the right to citizenship. To get Polish citizenship without a blood line you need to prove that you have been living continuously in the country for three years with a steady income. Those without a Polish parent must take a language proficiency test.
Fun fact: Polish government officials have blamed European “multiculturalism” for recent terror attacks, so try to fit in.
Useful phrase: “The rule of law is kind of overrated.”

flag-of-GermanyGermany: It may have given a warm welcome to migrants from the Middle East, but Germany will go less easy on British Eurocrats looking for a safe European home. A U.K. resident would need at least one German parent to get dual citizenship. Otherwise, the country requires eight years of residency in Germany to be eligible for citizenship.
Fun fact: The word that best expresses how Germans feel about Brexit is ‘schadenfreude.’
Useful phrase: Don’t mention the war!


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